Opposites Attract – But Do They Get Married?

Opposites Attract

Connection with opposites in relationships is a tricky thing.

Everyone always says that “opposites attract” and in many cases, this is very true. However opposites in relationships doesn’t necessarily mean that it makes for a good long-term relationship.

In fact, sometimes the very things that are so different between you and that may have initially attracted you to someone, often wind up being the very things that come between you at a later stage in your relationship.

Sort of a catch-22 when it comes to personalities and relationships right?

It’s almost like as humans, we’re sort of hard-wired to admire traits in our partners that we don’t see in ourselves.

And then we mistakenly think that dating someone that is so exciting and so different from us is the path to true love. I mean, if it’s this exciting, it must be true love. Right?

Sorry, but not always.

Often excitement and attraction are mistaken for love when it’s really just infatuation.

But when life gets down to the nitty gritty and that initial spark fizzles somewhat… you wind up just left with all the things that are different between you.

And without that spark and fire that initially made all those differences seem like the best thing since sliced bread… well, you can see where I’m going with this one.

Suddenly those differences that made things seem so amazing before just become issues that stand between you and get in the way of lasting happiness.

Do Opposites Attract And Last… Or Should You Give It Up and Date a Twinkie?

OK… I don’t really mean date a Twinkie. Eat one maybe, they’re very good!

But you know that little saying, when you hang with someone very similar to yourself and everyone around you says “They’re like Twinkies” or “They’re so cute, they’re like two peas in a pod”?

That’s what I mean by date a Twinkie.

And listen… don’t blow off this relationship marriage advice prematurely. Dating someone that could be the male version of you is not necessarily a bad thing.

In Girl Gets Ring I discuss this briefly. I call it dating someone with parallel passions and interests.

Most especially when you are dating a man you are hoping will be a part of your long-term future, similar passions and interests are definitely a plus in your relationship verses opposites in marriage.

That’s because the longer a relationship lasts, the more time there is to fill up between you.

From that perspective, finding a mate that enjoys doing the things you yourself enjoy doing just makes sense.

When you and your mate share similar passions, it makes filling that time between you so much easier. Let’s take a look at the benefits of sharing long-term interests…

Why Maintaining Common Interests In Marriage Is So Important:

  • If you’re a movie fanatic and your future hubby is a movie fanatic then you know that you will always have new movies to see together and to maybe spark a bit of healthy debate.
  • If you’re a word nerd and love to read and explore new books and your boyfriend also loves getting lost in a good book… there are so many books in the world to share with each other.
  • If you love the outdoors and things like camping or horseback riding, and you date a man that also enjoys the outdoors, there are so many things you can find to do together that you will both see as fun.

Enjoying similar interests doesn’t mean that you and your mate are exactly the same and therefore your lives will be boring together.

Having similar interests with someone doesn’t mean you can’t still experience excitement or share a love of the unknown.

Think of it like this- perhaps you both love the outdoors, but in different ways.

You love camping and horseback riding and your man loves things like water skiing and riding dirt bikes.

However, you both love being active and outdoors (the common thread)… you just love it in different ways.

Those different ways mean that you both have new activities that you can introduce each other to- activities that appeal to each of you because of that common thread (i.e. being active and outdoors) between them.

That makes for a great connection that can literally last a lifetime. You know that old cliché… the couple that plays together stays together?

Those aren’t just empty words.

In fact there may be no truer words ever spoken.

Sharing a life with a man that shares similar passions, similar values, and similar tastes as you just makes living that life together easier.

Not many relationships can survive constant opposition, at least not for long.

Dating someone who is the polar opposite of you may seem exciting at first, but when that excitement wanes, what do you have left?

Is it something you can build a life together on? Build a marriage on?

Those are questions you might want to ask yourself before getting too deeply involved with someone you know in your heart isn’t a perfect match. So, over to you…

Are Opposites In Marriage And Relationships Good, Bad or UGLY For Long-Term?

Have you dated someone you thought was perfect at first due to the initial attraction, but then found out later you were just too different? You couldn’t make it work? Please share your story in the comments below.

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Leave A Reply (5 comments so far)

  1. Shelby
    7 years ago

    My boyfriend and I don’t have ANYTHING in common; we are completely opposite in every way. That is why I read this article. To me it comes off as sound and logical advice, but alas, I am not a logical person: I’m a woman. (j/k) We love each other very much and have been together for a little over two years now. I love it when he participates in things I enjoy and vice-versa. As for marriage…… that is still up in the air. We don’t know yet. I don’t know if we should just be friends and give up the dating relationship to free each other up for pursuing other relationships, or try to work it out between us and hold on and look towards marriage. This is the crossroads we both have come to. Any comments?

  2. Galina
    7 years ago

    As to higher purpose of relationship – we mate to evolve. To become holy. To realise that we are one.. That world is a mirrow. We came from reality of onness -paradise home to go back . We do it through relationship. True love -is final relationship in countless thousands of lives with whom you assend. I just finalised one. It helped me to exit my dualistic perception of reality. I entered relationship without seeing myself as hole and after 5years of agony with what I should call psychopathic commitment phob immature playboy but sooooooo attractive shadow self.
    Everyone has a personality. So opposite personality is your opposite. It attracts. Perfect ideal man for you -is your shadow and through him you can be saved, liberated, exit dualistic perception of the world. From “me and the world” you go to “I am the world”. It can be done as shortcut to heaven only with opposite.. Why? I say we attracted to each other to lurn a lesson. What is a lesson.? A lesson is to level our personality. To discover who we really are.
    Though not many people on earth understand and talk about it as to understand what I am talking about require inquiry and realisation.
    Opposite attract to level personality. By fighting they become each other. What you fight you become. It isa goal. When you become your partner -literally acquire his personality traits you compleat. . And if he is your perfect ideal man -you attained your holiness,, enlightenment, final liberation, ascended.
    That why it doesn’t matter whether you married or not -you do a job you lurn your lesson. Many don’t see a lesson so they never lurn. Goal is not marriage. Goal is to become “we as one” .
    Sufferings which couple encounter in opposite attract relationships meant to catapult you to a view that. We are one hole. That all this time you was fighting with yourself. And then realisation come “there is no one but me in the world” . Transcendence. New level of consciousness attained through fight of opposites. When fight is deadly, when pain is intolerable, when man and woman fight till death – literally ” till death” till death of ego. When they fight -they kill each other, but kill each others egos as who can kill immortal soul.? When ego killed, pain seas to exist. You are free.
    True love. Is what happened after death of ego. Eternal peace and eternal love arrive. Immortality.
    Not many people I think on earth understand that. Domestic violence between passionately attracted is a fight for immortality. If only they could understand it. Most passionate opposites attracted love affair lead to total loss of wealth, families , of everything. Nothing left from life lovers had. Total transformation. New level of vision and consciousness attained.
    Opposites in marriage and relationships not only good – it a must. As in fight of opposites -the deadlier the more painfully the better- Divine Truth is bourn. When Truth was bourn -lesson lured-purpose fulfilled. They can leave in peace now. They got result -peace. Peace come when you discover that person you was fighting with is your mirrow and no point in blaming a mirrow if your face is ugly. As no one but you in the world. It is Divine Truth that can be discovered in fight till death of opposites. How beautifull!
    And I will give you another tip – this opposite – is your parent you rejected as a kid. parent may be dead and berried but. Energy of parent you rejected and judged as bad with you always. As lesson you came here to lurn is in family. Him her you will merry or be passionately attracted to. It took me 5 years of agony to see mother in my partner. It is difficult to see. Must purify vision through suffering for a long time. And then you allowed to enter gates of heaven.
    I wish all opposite to fight to gates to heaven. When you see yourself in him – you entered.
    And those who run away from opposite attract and seek easy way out by merry for convenience, for money, because we have common interests -well it won’t help you. You waist your life. I can only feel compassion for you as you are on a wrong truck. It won’t serve a purpose. And will get you nowhere you really want to go. You won’t reach heaven with this one. Easy, no pain no gain, sorry.

  3. Michelle
    7 years ago

    @ Shelby, well, its sounds to me like the 2 year itch. Sometimes it’s good to take a break, step back and view your options. I’m not saying this is what you should do… I just think a little bit of absence can either make the heart grow fonder, or, open up a whole new world of opportunities…. what ever you decide, best of luck.

  4. MJ
    7 years ago

    Great article and it makes perfect sense to me. I think there should be a balance – there are certain things a couple should have in common and certain things they shouldn’t. Each woman needs to decide for herself what similarities and differences she is looking for in a man.

  5. Lindsey Fitzgerald
    6 years ago

    You can love the wrong person and you can be sincere in saying that you love them while realizing that it is a mistake. I know of a couple right now who have been married for 17 years, they have a teenager and are getting divorced because it is just not feasible to stay together. I heard the wife say recently that it is really a shame because he is a perfectly nice man who will make someone a wonderful husband but not her.