A Man’s Perspective on How to Attract a Guy

How to Attract a Guy

In needing dating advice from men, many women are really looking to learn what makes a man tick. Furthermore, it’s easy to become discouraged in the world of dating today.

Media puts so much pressure on people (women especially) to hold themselves to these unrealistic ideals of “beauty”.

According to popular magazines, a woman might only be beautiful if she is extremely thin, or has full pouty lips, or a deep, dark (and usually artificial by the way) tan.

Photos of women who have been air brushed to within inches of their lives and who are often unhealthy because of the pressures of the beauty industry are the photos that regular, everyday gals like you compare themselves to.

As a result, regular, everyday gals like you often become discouraged and develop a poor body image. That often snowballs into a dating life that leaves you feeling unhappy and unfulfilled.

Either you are attracting the wrong kind of men, or you wind up feeling too down on yourself to even bother with dating altogether and are left wondering “will I ever find my true love?”.

I would say that’s a pretty sad state of affairs, wouldn’t you?

Every Woman Has Something Beautiful About That Makes Them Marriage Material

I’m here to tell you to throw all that “ideal woman” crap out the window. Take it from a man who knows… beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

There is a man out there in this world who thinks YOU are the most beautiful creature on this planet. Don’t despair if you haven’t yet met him, because I guarantee you he is out there, just waiting to be found.

You just have to be willing to look.

Beauty is entirely subjective. Every single man on this planet has his own “idea” of what makes a woman beautiful and irresistible.

In Girl Gets Ring I even mention all the men I know that only find women who resemble animals attractive. Or only find left-handed women hot.

And to really put it into perspective for you, consider that old cliché-

Every Pot Has a Lid!

Sure you might have to plow through a few toads before you find Prince Charming, but that’s kind of what dating is all about. It’s a learning process. Maybe even an exercise in character building.

Dating Advice From Men: Learn How to Attract a Guy to You.

As we’ve talked about before on how to attract a guy to you, it starts with you getting really clear on the kind of man you want. This helps to narrow down the dating numbers…

…but that doesn’t mean you won’t still find yourself dating quite a few jerks before you finally find Mr. Right. It’s just a part of the whole dating process.

But you have to be willing to go through the process to find that perfect guy for you. And you can’t let incorrect notions of beauty stand in your way of finding true happiness.

Quite frankly, we men are relatively simple creatures.

What attracts men to woman? Take it from a guy…we really aren’t that picky!

Yup… most of us simply love women, period.

All women.

And I know plenty of men who are not picky about the type of women they date even a little bit. Tall, short, plump, slim, dark eyes, blue eyes, blonde, brown… they love ‘em all.

And it’s important to remember that while a first glimmer of interest might initially be something physical (so do still strive to take care of yourself fitness and hygiene-wise), the real, deeper attraction happens when we start to talk to you and get to know you better.

We become attracted to the little quirks that make you unique. Maybe we love the softness of your hands or the dimple in your chin. Maybe we love the way you fill out a pair of jeans, or the way your eyes crinkle up when you grin.

True attraction happens on a deeper level than just looks. Real beauty isn’t just a pretty face or a perfect body. The men who are marriage material, the men you are looking for; they already know this.

They are looking for the beauty inside a woman. They want to find that woman that will look beyond their own flaws too and really see the man they are inside.

Because deep down, we men are just like you.

We suffer from our own insecurities and fears. We secretly worry we may never find Mrs. Right. We get scared too in initiating a conversation or asking a girl out.

And just like you we want to be loved, flaws and all.

The difference is we’re men. We don’t communicate those things well. Heck we might not even realize those things consciously at all! But that doesn’t mean we aren’t feeling them just as much as you are.

Dating Advice From Men – One last thought about how to attract a guy to you…

Please stop worrying about whether or not we think you’re beautiful, because chances are we think you’re beyond beautiful.

We just don’t know how to say it.

Take some pressure off us poor saps and initiate a conversation. Say hello.

And just know that no matter what happens after that point, you are beautiful to someone, somewhere. You just have to be open to finding him.

Over to you. Do you struggle with feeling “beautiful”? Do you think men don’t find you attractive? Why do you think you feel this way, really?

Leave your comments below.

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Leave A Reply (23 comments so far)

  1. Shelby
    7 years ago

    I have tremendous love for myself and feel so blessed to be the beautiful female human being that I am. With that being said, you’re right: outward beauty depends 99% on inward beauty, because our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. Ladies: don’t seek validation from outside yourself. It is essential that you find love for yourself first before we can have a truly healthy relationship. Isn’t that what we all desire? Love your neighbor as you love yourself. 🙂
    Thank you for letting me share.

  2. Jenna
    7 years ago

    I think I am attractive in general. I am in great shape and have the energy of a 25-30 year old even though I am older. I do think I am beautiful in many ways; however I run up against the “seeking younger women” syndrome. Many of the men I see around me and the few I am attracted to seem to be looking for women 10-20 years younger than themselves! This is hard to compete with without having a facelift, botox or the like. I can definitely keep up physically and mentally if they can get beyond their perception that I am middle age. I guess it is coming back to me in a way as I seek men who are good looking, active, in good shape and have great physical stamina (I love to go hiking, running, biking, kayaking, workout and still go dancing at night for 3 or 4 hours) I’m an energizer bunny who doesn’t look 30 now even though I still feel like it. How and WHERE do I attract a great man or men to date in a small town? I have been online for over 2 years and only found a few men and gone on a handful of dates which is crazy low. I feel I could be dating/going out every week if I could find good men. I am involved in dance groups, meditation group, go biking, out to the theater and workout. The men I meet/know in these areas are in relationships or don’t spark my interest. Any thoughts? Am also wondering how your product can help me find a man?. I feel I know what to do to have a good relationship once I find him as I have had several long term relationships

  3. Michelle
    7 years ago

    Well put Shelby, I think if you’re too worried, concerned about your physical appearance then it really show’s in your attitude.

    Even if you’re not the prettiest girl in the world, confidence and sex appeal really does go a long way.

    And lets not forget, a lot of men are turned off by women who love themselves and are self obsessed.

  4. melkamu
    7 years ago

    It is real interesting which is practical . i write my out look based on this in two business day

  5. Julie
    7 years ago

    What about us super hot girls that are smart, tan, thin, tall, with full lips? Im a professional model, I also have a small buss. however, I don’t think guys can get passed my looks. How do I get them to take me serisouly as marraige material and not just a “fling”?

  6. Joy
    7 years ago

    I wish I could believe this. I live in Las Vegas. Men here are stupid because of all the easy women. And women here are crazy because the men are so stupid

  7. tay
    7 years ago

    I have struggled for years about being beautiful or not. I believe all people are beautiful I am always finding something inside and outside that I love about a person. So I am often surprised disssapointed hurt when I realize most people do not feel this way.

    I believe the media has been quite cruel leading people to believe there is only one version of true beauty.

    I believe men are so visuallly attracted to women and the media has had such an influence as well as porn and fashion models that men dont truly know what beauty is anymore.

    I know I am a very beautiful person but when it comes to men I only see all my flaws. flaws I never worry about when I am with women.

    When I have met a man who has felt I was attractive they have been interested in sex only. so I am confused.

    Am I only beautiful for sex ????

  8. Berhane G/yesus Habtu
    7 years ago

    I read your articles and I agree much of the idea that you have wrote. Still one thing to say external beautiness is not that much necessary in relate with internal beautiness. Most people nowadays advertise their character as well as property as a means of attracting people this is also a time being love. The other thing is mutual understanding is the underlinf feactor to go further the bonds.

  9. Katrina
    6 years ago

    Jenna it sounds as if you are doing everything right, so perhaps your only solution is to look further afield than your town (if you’re not interested in men who are 10+ years your senior!)

  10. Lynn
    6 years ago

    I have found that being slim does NOT necessarily make someone beautiful. I have seen many skinny women and I would not want to look like them. I am not a wafer myself. I could probably lose 20 -30 lbs, but I have parts that are athletic toned from bike riding. I have nice curves and I am not a stick figure…I don’t think stick figures are attractive. My face…I have been told I am like Elizabeth Taylor. I wouldn’t trade my appearance for any woman. As far as whether men find me attractive…I have really bad luck on online dating sites. I am 53 years old and want a man around 50 – 65 that has a nice appearance. The ones that I am interested in just ignore me. I mostly only get guys that I am not interested in at all. It really sucks!

  11. Joy
    6 years ago

    My problem is I have a huge heart, can care so much for someone who is good to me, and trusting sometimes to a fault! I love to hear a man talk, and tell me everything, I just love listening. Some people find that boring, but not I! My problem is I don’t get out much, all my friends are married, and usually busy. So have to rely with on- line, and that can be scary in this day and age! Second, as another person put, men all seem to want the young ones, that leaves me out. I am a pretty woman but time has put a few extra pounds on me (not a lot) but enough for guys to usually shy away from.though I am sure if I got out more, the pounds would drop like water! How and where do we start?

  12. Marea
    6 years ago

    I struggle so much to feel beautiful because right now I don’t have a stable job that allows me to treat my face, buy anything I want, do my hair when ever I want. Its very depressing for me so I think I am not attractive with these scars in my face.

    The only reason I feel this way is because I am not financially stable.

  13. Alex
    6 years ago

    I am a man.I read the article and I am so touched by seeing reflected all details of my present relationship. My girlfriend never accepts that I really believe on her beauty, she believes I am saying it just to please her. The worst part of it is that this matter really creates a wall between us sometimes very hard to overcome. She believes she is good looking, but she does not believe I find her so. So, What happens when 97% of the things are OK and only a few, nonetheless the most important ones, are against? She decided when she was very young to never live with a man, ever, and that is a crucial point for me… I cannot accept to have an affair with the woman I really, really love. I feel very stupid not to be able to convince her that forty years ahead she is going to feel sorry for all we missed while living separate lives, a touch and go sort of passtime.

  14. Kala
    6 years ago

    Hi I have to say I am a 66 year old woman in decent shape and I think some of these mean are not getting a break. I myself have been guilty of criticizing a man when he tells me I am really pretty. I find it hard to accept a compliment. I want to point out at this age and getting onto a dating site is extremely scary for what you will find but I will say for the most part all the men have been complete gentlemen when out on he date. I think you need to think enough of yourself and what you will set limits on as to no touching be friends first etc. . Value who you are and as the one lady said you need to at least like yourself and be honest with the person as to what you are looking for. I have found there are really decent guys out there even if I was not attracted to them in a chemistry type of way. It is a numbers game as someone once said to me you need to get yourself out there and at least project that you are confident even if you are scared to death.

  15. Susan
    6 years ago

    I definitley struggle . I am 51 and feel that it’s impossible. i dont make a whole lot of money and have debt and i think that i have ugly teeth and what guy would want me when i just dont stand out in a crowd. See so many others a so much better. Just average nothing to write home about. Good heart and honest but doesnt seem to matter. Hard worker and relaible. trustworthy.

  16. shyanne
    6 years ago

    i am ok with my physical appearance – some even say i’m pretty and my bf tells me i’m beautiful. but then he is online or on his phone texting and posting on facebook 24/7 to other women. he has over 300 female “friends” on fb. women who bare their breasts and flirt. he thrives on the flattery they offer. although we’ve discussed it almost to the point where i don’t think i can continue in the relationship, it is i that appears jealous and controlling.
    i am smart, care deeply for him, have been reading the online material and am old enough to know better (i’m 60, he’s 62) it’s hard not to be convinced that men are NOT looking for love or someone to love them for who they are. and it’s not the women who are smart, caring and confident that find a life partner.
    it seems men are out to get the attention and sex from as many women as they can and the women who get their attention are the ones who are putting themselves out there to be used.
    i would love to be proven wrong, by the way.

  17. Melissa
    6 years ago

    I feel that men prefer taller women than shorter ones. I am attractive but very short at 4’9. I get looked at oddly a lot when I am out, even laughed at and joked with about my height. It is annoying and hurts me. I have even had it happen by someone when I was on a date with a guy I liked which was extremely embarrassing for both of us. He never asked me out again.

  18. Kelly Fayne
    6 years ago

    I struggle with this topic a lot. I come from a family of picturesque beauties (even the men). Needless to say I didn’t take after this half of my family. I’m 5 foot even and struggle with my weight constantly, I have very round features no jaw line or check bones to speak of. I grew up in the shadows of very tall (no one under 6 foot) well built, olive complected,chiseled features, head turning individuals. I was never treated badly or made to feel uncomfortable by anyone in my family it was always other people who did that with comments like what happened to you?, Are you sure you’re related? So after so many years of this you start to feel like the ugly duckling. My children even took after this side of the family they look nothing like me and again I get left out. Don’t get me wrong I love my family and it’s not their fault they all look like super models it’s just genetics. Just wish I could have gotten something from the mix.

  19. Lu Nuller
    5 years ago

    Kelly and Melissa,
    I am also short, but I like it. I feel that it brings out a man’s protective nature around me. Yes, I,have heard the jokes too, but I would rather be short than too,tall. Just love yourselves, because we,are adorable and,smart.

  20. tchotchke
    5 years ago

    To the tiny women I say there are tiny men out there who would be grateful to finally get a date. To the women my age looking on line. I was online for 3 years after I was widowed & met nothing but dreary bores. Then I took salsa lessons & went out salsa dancing. Now I have a boyfriend who is never dull! To the gal whose fellow is doing the FB flirt: I’m having trouble enough coping with my boyfriend’s innocent (but enthusiastic) friendship with a woman who is in a relationship with a man of her own. I could never deal with him flirting sexually like that. Leave him. When he asks why tell him why. He then gets to decide if he wants you back on your terms. If you go back to him because he promises to stop but then starts it back up again repeat the above.

  21. Debbie
    5 years ago

    I am 59 and considered by my men friends to be in great shape. I’m friends with 35 yr old we are becoming the best of friends even wrestled with each other. We really enjoy each others company but I believe the age difference scares him. He has sung to me about older women make beautiful lovers and I had a calendar of myself done professionally, and he sang to me she doesn’t know she’s beautiful. To me he is a breathe of fresh air and I care about him a lot! I’m scared also, I told lets worry about road down the line(age difference).

  22. kay
    5 years ago

    I don’t worry about how I look other than the occasional is this the right outfit for the occasion but that is superficial. What does trouble me is that it seems men are in fact focused on looks first and the degree to which you will meet their needs. I am not saying that is wrong only it is unfortunate that one woman can be much more easily substituted for another whereas most women develop a sincere attachment. Bottom line Superficial vs. Depth. This is why there are so many articles telling women what men want, woman actually care; men not so much.

  23. Arlene
    3 years ago

    What about if a man prefers blonde petite women, will he still be open to being in a relationship with a plump Burnett? I have a great connection with a guy but one of his friends told me I am not his typical type and I am wasting my time. What do you think?